So I was stuck in traffic yesterday as result of the preparation for the APC presidential primaries which is scheduled to hold today. The said preparation was carried out without appropriate warning to many unsuspecting Lagosians like myself who unfortunately were caught in its web for almost 5 hours.

In a fit of frustration, I wrote a lengthy missive during the long trip home which I shared on facebook and I am now compelled to share same here as I realize that my poor, poor blog has been starved for so long because of my impossible schedule.

In retrospect, I changed the title to what it is now but the substance of the rant remains the same so here goes!

Nigeria is configured to make your life a living hell.

Take for instance, the life of a Lagosian: You get home from work at about 9.30pm after a hard day where you spent at least 4 hours in traffic and when you finally get home, there’s no light. Your inverter doesn’t even charge because there’s been no light for days. You grab your jerry can to buy a little fuel for your generator and you encounter a long queue. After the life sucking traffic you just faced on your way back from work, HELL NO!

You head back home and decide to sleep in the dark but the heat is unbearable and after several short baths, you give up and allow your sweat soak up your bed sheets and finally allow the mosquitoes you’ve been battling with to feast on your tired blood

Your alarm rings to alert you that its already 4:30am when you finally fell into exhausted sleep about an hour ago and you groggily wake up, go to the bathroom to bathe when you realize that your borehole has not been able to pump water because there has been no light.

Somehow, you overcome that and spend another 2 hours or less to get to work because leaving later than 6am might entail you spending more than 2 hours getting to work that early in the morning.

You get to work, tired as fuck and grumpy as hell and your boss starts giving you hell about one nonsense and you resist the urge to grab his neck to strangle the hell out him while you’re yelling “Fuck the world!”to no one in particular because those three words capture best your frustration. But no, you don’t do that. You smile stoicly, recieve the insults because you need the job to pay for your house rent, fuel your car, maintain your girlfriend and those family members who think you’re who you are today because once upon a time when you were born, they carried you.

Time crawls till close of business and you’re eager to get home because you’re tired and desperately in need of sleep but you realize that it is a curse to be a Nigerian in Nigeria because the traffic you faced the previous day is child’s play compared to what lies before you.

On top of that, you realize that you don’t have fuel and can’t buy because its been hoarded by greedy fuel marketers who anticipate an increment in fuel prices and want to make a killing. So black market is your only option.

As if that’s not bad enough, you get robbed…